Thursday, July 13, 2006

Worn out

I've been so sleepy this week. On Monday morning, before I got out of bed, I croaked "I wish I had another day to chill out." Sweets smiled at me and said "that sounds familiar. You say that every Monday." It seems that I'm always rushing around and never have time to just relax. Have no plans or obligations. I've been feeling so envious of people with time to relax, create and enjoy themselves. Over the weekend, our neighborhood had a block party. The girl that lives across the street noted that she never seems me. It makes me sad that I don't get to spend much time at home. Work takes me out of the house for about twelve hours a day. When I get home, it's between 10 and 11 pm. Sweets has already been home for three hours and he wants to spend time with me. Of course, I do want to see him and talk about our day. It's just that I want some time to do stuff for myself, too. He gets to go to the movies, watch tv, read. I feel jipped. Carving out time for myself is my biggest struggle. On Saturday, I went to the green market in Union Square while I was in New York City. All the produce was exciting. I brought home bunches of rainbow chard, golden beets and garlic scapes. While at the market, I envisioned photographing all the produce the following morning. Then I'd cook up a delicious meal and photograph that, too. On Sunday, by the time we went to see a possible wedding location, had lunch, grocery shopped and worked in the yard, I was so pooped. We made watermelon margaritas thinking they would be refreshing. Sweets fell asleep and I ended up awake but exhausted and with a bellyache. No photo taking for me. Although, I did cook. I sauteed up some bacon with the garlic scapes and wilted the rainbow chard in the pan. The gold beets turned into a risotto. After Sweets woke up he grilled up some chicken breasts for me. There was enough leftovers to have several days of packed lunches. He's been experimenting with wraps in the evening. Best one so far had mango chutney, cheese and chicken. Today I tossed together some salads for our lunches. So, we've been eating pretty good this week. Which is not always the case. If I don't cook on the weekend, it' s not happening. I had the urge to bake the other night but it was late. How do I get more time? That is the question I need to find an answer for.

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