Self Portrait Tuesday: Fool for Love

the kiss, originally uploaded by roxydynamite.

I would describe myself as a practical person. Some people who know me only professionally probably think I am some sort of hard, crass,unfeeling bee-otch because that's what I've gotta do sometimes.
What those people would never guess is I'm a fool for love.
I cry at weddings. Romantic comedies are a secret vice. The kind that star Meg Ryan and make me all hiccuppy and sticky with tears by the end of the film give me the most satisfaction. They kept me hanging on. One of my favorite Rhett Miller lyrics goes "I believe in love but it don't believe in me." For a long time, that felt particularly, poignantly true to me.
And then I met Sweets. And love started believing in me, too. And it was a glorious, spectacular thing.
Last week, he suggested we go walk on the boardwalk for some exercise. He'd been suggesting it for days and I couldn't go because of the vertigo. On Monday, I was ready.
He let me choose which town we'd go for a walk. I decided Bradley Beach would be best because it has paver stones instead of a boardwalk and that would be better if I was still unsteady on my feet. As soon as we got to there, I asked if he wanted to go on the beach and he said maybe later. We walked south towards Avon, turned back and continued north past our starting point. It was a little chilly. My pants had no pockets. Sweets hands were pushed down into his. I asked to put my hand in his pocket. He wouldn't let me. Said there was no room. We came to the point where his old apartment was. I joked that he had given up oceanfront property to come live with me. Was he sure he made the right decision? Then I squeezed his arm and told him that apartment was where everything started for us. He asked if I wanted to go down to the beach. I said no. My ears were chilly and I wanted to go back. Just for a few minutes he pleaded. As soon as we hit the beach, I remembered the first night time we were there together. It was a freezing January night. After being out for cocktails with a group, we all tumbled back to his apartment for more fun, But first we ventured out on the beach. It had snowed earlier in the week. A crunchy crust covered the sand. It was slippery. My boots kept breaking through the crust. By now I had an immense crush on Sweets. All I wanted at that moment was for him to hold my hand as we crossed that surreal landscape. He didn't.
As we walked to the shore last week, I told him that story. We walked on and made small talk. I remember talking about how I felt like my crafting skills are inferior compared to the other members of color-iffic swap-o-rama. I turned to head back towards home. Sweets stopped me. Said he wasn't ready to go back yet and pulled me in for a hug. He stepped back and said in a strange voice, "Can I ask you a question?"And then he was falling to his knees, the air rushing around us, as he asked if I would marry him. Stunned, I said "Of course". Then thinking about it, thought I'd better say "YES" too. He went into the pocket he had denied me entry to earlier and fished out a ring box.
Grams gave me her engagement diamond over the summer and told us to use it when we were ready. She'd been ribbing us in her last few months about wanting to see us married. Giving advice on the setting. Sweets paid attention to everything she said. He choose a gorgeous solitare platinum six prong setting to hold this precious reminder of my Grams.

I don't really know when we're going to have the wedding. Or where. Or what it will be like.

What I DO know is that I am crazy in love with this man. And he loves me right back. What more do you need to know?

Be sure to explore more SPT April foolishness today at Self Portrait Tuesday or the Flicker group. Quote of the Day: "Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem, baby girl." - Lauryn Hill Soundtrack of the Day: "I Never" by Rilo Kiley. you can stream the album "More Adventurous" on the site.
Take a peek at the ring here.