Somewhere, I lost a few weeks. Maybe they are stuck between the sofa cushions with the loose change and dog fur that usually reside there. The Editor dogs me to be honest here on my blog and I hate to disappoint him. I could skirt the truth and say I've been busy (which is always true). Or haven't had anything to say (which is never true). The truest summation would be that I've been sad. The kind of sad that makes you unable to get out of bed until fifteen minutes before it's time to leave for work. The kind of sad that makes you too lazy to wash your hair. The kind of sad that makes you ponder quite seriously if there is something fundamentally flawed about you that makes you completely unlovable. And this notion, this makes you really sad. This is the type of sadness that will leave you crying when a sappy Alicia Keyes song is in the soundtrack of one of your favorite crime tv programs. Or you could get weepy during a segment on public radio. It doesn't seem to take much to turn on the tears. What brought this sadness on? I'm not sure. Too much natural disaster lately? We've had tsunamis in Asia, avalanches at ski resorts, mudslides in California. Mortality seems to scoff at us lately. I feel small in it's wake. And alone. Instead of dwelling on all the bad things there are to think about, I've been working on a list of things that make me happy. The ones that pull me back into normalcy. Birds. I've set up several bird feeders in the yard. The largest feeder hangs on the back fence and was a hit right away. A cardinal couple stops by as well as 6 blue jays, several pigeons and loads of sparrows. Just starting to get some action at the ones closer to the house. A suet feeder is popular with chickadees and a tufted titmouse. A feeder filled with cracked corn and raisins hanging from the kitchen window by suction cups has had limited success with blue jays. Watching the birds in the morning before work is worth getting up earlier for. Growing plants. I'm not much for house plants. I prefer to garden outdoors. But a few potted amaryllis and a primrose have brought some much needed green inside. I'm thinking of starting some seeds for spring. Rest. Miraculously in bed before 1 am twice this week. My sleep schedule of 3 am to 11 am isn't satisfying. I hope to get up earlier and get some things accomplished. Although, I know if I don't have an appointment, I won't get up. This week, I have two days scheduled. Next week, I've got one doctor penciled in so far. Cooking. I had Grams over for brunch on Sunday. We normally go out to a restaurant on the weekend. She eats like a bird and won't take any leftovers home. I made her blueberry and apply blintzes. We sang along to Glenn Miller songs while I cooked. After that I packed up her week's worth of meals. She's been raving about my meatloaf. Shh, don't tell her it was turkey. Music. Tonight I dragged myself over to Asbury Lanes to see the Little Killers and Detroit Cobras. My stomach hurt and it was a crummy drive home through snow. My feet were cold after standing in the snow cleaning off the car in my not so sensible stilletto boots. When I got settled at the club, I felt good, no really good. If I could divide my time between dancing and photographing at great live shows, I'd be a happy girl. Laughter. I randomly acquired a CD, The Absurd Nightclub Comedy of Eugene Mirman. I listened to it while putting the curtains back up in the kitchen after FINALLY finishing up the paint job in there. I damn near choked to death on a mouthful of cherry lemonade laughing so hard at his act. He does shows in NYC on a regular basis. I'm going to try to catch him live soon. Giving. There has been so much talk of donations towards tsunami relief in the past week it's been overwhelming. I learned of two completely unrelated programs in the same week that are dear to my heart. Both hook underpriveledged kids up with cameras and photograpy training. This gives kids a sense of empowerment and teaches them about documenting their lives. Please consider them for yourselves. The first is Kids with Cameras. This program in international. Have a soft spot for kids in India after seeing the film, Born into Brothels? Then send a sum to get some film in their hands and a sparkle in their eyes. The second program, The Luci S. Houston Photography Project, is based in San Jose, CA. Luci S. Williams Houston was murdered in November 2001. Her husband, Ray Houston, was convicted of her murder in 2003. She worked at the Kansas City Star, KS and The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, OH before joining the staff at the San Jose Mercury News in 1993. HOW YOU CAN HELP: The project relies on donor generosity to serve underprivileged students at KIPP (Knowledge is Power Program) Heartwood Academy in the Mayfair Neighborhood of East San Jose. This is a middle school serving 78 fifth grade students. 100% of students are of color and 75% receive Free/Reduced Lunch. Over two-thirds of students are designated English Language Learners. A donation of $20 equips one student with two disposable cameras and a frame to display their work at a gallery show. Please address checks to KIPP FOUNDATION including KIPP Heartwood Academy in the memo line and mail your contribution to: The Luci S. Houston Photography Project KIPP Heartwood Academy 2050 Kammerer Avenue San Jose, CA 95116