Ah, I'm having serious sleep malfunctions again. I can't get up in the morning and I can't go to bed at night. Again. Could it be too much caffeine? Too many listenings to the Eagles of Death Metal songs I downloaded this week? Hmm. I've got some big projects brewing at work. The ideas are just squirting out of me. Tomorrow, I've got to be in early to present an idea for an interactive program that would run for several months across multiple sections. I obviously can't blow up my spot and give up the exact details but it's something we've never attempted before. I'm also cooking up some other things that should pop by the end of the year. I'm learning that if you're prepared and come up with ideas early enough, you get to run with them. The time I spent at the SND Conference appears to be paying off. I'm also getting ready to edit some major international coverage. The next few months are going to really challenging and rewarding. Here's something that I've been thinking about the last few days. I touched base with my sister. She told me she and her husband had spent one weekend night online, perusing the local singles on a popular online dating site.... and making fun of them. This is apparently, the modern marrieds new mode of entertainment. So while, I, and the scads of other singletons are out there prowling, the more "fortunate" married are at home howling at our expense. Now, my sister knows I myself have used that site before. So I had to ask if they say my profile. "What did you guys think, honestly", I asked. "Well," she hesitated and then blurted out that my brother-in-law "thinks you sound like an opinionated bitch." That's a pretty fair assessment, I suppose. At least the opinionated part. My sister suggested I try to soften up, not come off so independent or opinionated or knowledgable. "You know, men like to be in charge. Even though I am in charge, I have to let my husband think he is sometimes." Now, before you go off saying my sister is completely off base, I have to say I think she has a point. And so do some men. A few weeks ago, I was on a different site updating my profile. A guy instant messaged me and it bacame apparent very fast, he wasn't contacting me because he shared my interest in the Art Nouveau period or scrabble. He was "into my rack." I politely told him I was more interested in someone I could relate to in more ways than our shared admirations for my decolletage. He was so kind as to then venture a suggestion, most specifically. I'd be better off if I had a photo of myself a)outside b) full length c) wearing jeans and a white tshirt d) or a ball gown would be okay, too. This would help solve the problem of guys getting as he put it "distracted" by my bosoms and not moving on to my other attributes. I thanked him for his input, albeit completely cliched and entirely not me. Is this what men want? I've seen lots of them mention that tired line about going from jeans and a tshirt to black tie. Do they really mean that? Why does that get to them? Do they really want a woman who appears helpless at first and then slowly takes control away from them and only grants them some measure of power on special occasions like its a cookie? Oh yeah, then this guy asked if he could just for a few minutes talk dirty to me. Wait a sec, hon, let me just run and slip into my ballgown so you're comfortable. Ugh. Out in the real world,I'm suffering from a crush of gi-normous proportions. Here I was minding my own business, being miserable about the last fish that slipped out of my net and bang I meet someone that is totally rocking my world. Except he doesn't know I'm alive. Which is really how a crush should work. Two male friends weighed in on the situation. The older and wiser- "I don't care what you do. All I'm telling you is he isn't boyfriend material." The younger more idealistic one wasn't much more encouraging-"The only thing that is going to work is if you ask like you are the coolest thing going and totally ignore him." Again, more advice to pretend to be doing or feeling something contrary to what I'm about. I just can't play along. Whatever the outcome, my young pal reminded me of what's really important. "Who care's if he likes you. What's really cool is you can get this excited about someone. That feeling you get is incredible. And maybe someone somewhere is going to be feeling that excited about you, too." Thanks to everyone for all their advice. I'm now going to resume wrecking my love potential. But first, I should get some sleep. That is if I can stop thinking about that guy. On the 1 and 2: The 5.6.7.8's- Pretty Lily Can Dance No More.....Just finished watching: Ashes of Time directed by Wong Kar Wei... looking for: a new way to eat turkey leftovers